Confessions
by gorillabaseball
Summary: My take on what happens after Jean saves Mikasa.


Jean watched her as she slept, her chest rising and falling with every breath. He had been sitting in her room since they got back from the mission.

He winced when he remembered what happened, or rather what had almost happened. He had never felt that feeling before, that pain, that worry. Mikasa was strong, probably the strongest out of them all. But seeing her, almost dying, he realized how fragile she really was.

His heart had never beat as fast as it did then, when everything was in slow motion and all he could see was her and her red scarf, in the hands of a titan.

Jean watched as she stirred, reaching out his hand to brush away a strand of black hair from her face. He stroked the lock, finally feeling how soft it was in his hand as he twirled it around his finger.

He sighed when he saw the peaceful expression on her face and he wished that she could be like this all the time. Without the fears and the worries. Safe. Here, next to him.

His hand flinched when her brow started to furrow and her breathing started to quicken. She started mumbling something, making Jean worry. He started stroking her forehead with his hand, rubbing away the crease in between her brows in the process. The action immediately soother the girl, a peaceful expression returning to her face, making Jean smile softly.

Losing her. He wouldn't know what to do , what it would be like to lose her. His feelings for her, he had known they were there. That intense crush that he harbored for her. But seeing her almost die today, fuck, he actually loved her. And the realization made him both happy and depressed.

But he really did love her. He knew how strong she was and he admired that, but he also knew how weak she was when it came to other things, like Eren. Just the thought of the boy made him depressed. Jean wished that he had known her before he did, it seemed as if he had no chance.

He stroked her hair gently, careful not to wake her up.

"I love you." The words came out from him without much thinking and he smiled when she stirred at them. At least right now, he could say them. He was too cowardly to say them when she was actually conscious.

XXXXXXXXX

It was an hour later when she woke up to in a room, with Jean sleeping in the chair besides her.

She sat upright, making Jean wake up in the process. He rubbed his eyes, bolting upright when he noticed that he was still in Mikasa's room.

"Mikasa." He said, looking at her. A look of worry was on her face and he immediately knew what she was thinking about.

"He's safe, in his room." He said, a pang in his chest as he said so, frustration making him frown.

"Hm." Was all she said, looking around the room.

Jean examined her, looking to see if she was alright. "You should get some more rest."

Mikasa stared at him, not really knowing what to say. She had known Jean since they had started out as soldiers but they didn't really converse that much with each other at all and she suddenly felt self-conscious of his presence.

"What happened?" She asked him, referring to the mission.

"They got away." Jean said in exasperation. Their mission had been a failure and worst of all, it had cost them casualties as well.  
Mikasa frowned at his answer, feeling more irritated by their lack of success.

"You almost died." Jean said suddenly, making her turn her head to him. Mikasa recalled what had happened. Getting snatched by a large hand, Jean coming to her rescue.

"Thank you." She said to him.

"Don't." Jean recoiled, a weird expression twisting his face. "Mikasa, you can't do that."

Mikasa was shocked to say the least as she heard these words from him. He never really spoke to her and when he did, it was usually small talk. His rebuke only served to make her feel more disappointment with herself.

"It was a stupid mistake by me." She said, thinking about her failure to take down Annie and save Eren herself.

"You don't get it." Jean said, his tone more agitated than she had ever heard from him. "Stop doing these things. You're being reckless!"

Her eyes widened at his words, but it did little to change her mind. "I won't fail again. I'll succeed in taking them down next time."

"No. We're a squad. I'm your teammate. Don't do these things alone." Jean said to her in all seriousness. "I know I can't stop you from trying to save Eren, but at least let me help you."

Mikasa stared at him in silence. Confusion marked her face as she digested his words. "Jean, why-"

He looked up at her, furrowed brows and worried eyes, a vulnerable expression on his face. She could feel his hand shake as he gripped on the bed sheets.

"I can't lose you." He said honestly, his eyes peircing hers. He only hoped that she could understand why.

"Jean-" She said, reaching out her hand to stop his from shaking. He gripped it before she could even touch his, making her gasp and look to him questioningly.

Now, he started to really shake, sweat dripping from his temple. But he had to say it. He felt as if he would explode if he didn't.

"I love you!" Mikasa's eyes widened at his confession, speechless. Jean felt all the blood in his body flood his cheeks , realizing what he had just done. He felt stupid and pathetic, but he didn't regret it all. A part of him was relieved that he said it.

Mikasa looked to his eyes before looking at the ground. "I love Eren." She said and Jean would have probably be heartbroken if he hadn't been used to feeling rejected by her.

"I know." He said calmly, releasing a breath and looking downwards before meeting her surprised eyes again. He took in her reddened cheeks and he thought of how nice it would be if he could make her look like that.

"But I'm not giving up." Jean said, determined. A grin formed on his face and he gripped her hand tighter. "I won't give up." He said stroking her hand with his own. Mikasa looked at him and she could feel herself become embarrassed by such boldness.

When he walked to his room that night, he berated himself for his stupidity, but smiled to himself as he thought of a plan in capturing the heart of the girl he loved.

Mikasa stared at the empty chair next to her, finally seeing Jean in a diferent light.


End file.
